i already hear my dad disowning me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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