I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
