it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
