Whatcha textin bout Willis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
