i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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