i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
