Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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