operation harelip BJ is a go
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize