dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
