whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
