What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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