I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
