I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
two words: eviction party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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