They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
