We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize