I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
is wine microwaveable?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
