a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
