How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is Oprah even human
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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