I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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