is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
