I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
