she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I forgot wine drunk hurts
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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