it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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