Duck Duck Cougar?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
