there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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