do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
