i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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