Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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