so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
