I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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