LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
