Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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