A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
