if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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