You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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