She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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