She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
