btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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