I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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