I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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