the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
