Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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