Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
