Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
