did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
