Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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