I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
