Me too!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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