I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
