Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
