i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
