I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
