i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
