When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
