I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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