Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
