what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
