You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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