Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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