Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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